Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I can count

I have complete contempt for fakery

How do you respond to "I don't like you anymore"?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

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I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I actually pay taxes

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Is a computer science degree worth it in 2024?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

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I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Are there any men who have sex with male dogs?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

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I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t cotton to rapists

Why would the United States need a fleet of the F-47 fighter jet fielded in the 2030s?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

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I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

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I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have a reading level above third grade

What species of fish are horse mackerels?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Can relationship issues cause depression?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

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If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Besides the religion, what's the difference between Arabs and Jews, if they are the same people from the same part of the Middle East?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

What should I do if I love someone who does not love me?

I see through liars

I don’t buy bullshit

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I can read

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t